Spring Time

I have the huge pleasure of receiving another award!! Gosh how marvellous! Thank you so much Gone Back South.

That and I've won a Handheld PDA (whatever that is) for my Christmas Horror Story about the escaping hamster.
But I've been in no mood to really appreciate any of these nice things, I've had cold in by dose, my chest hurts, my back hurts and I've been very unwell. I think it was flu because I really haven't done a thing, haven't blogged much at all and have done very little work.
I did have a major problem in that I lost my voice. It didn't really matter here, I just stayed in bed and ignored everyone. I did though, take my business phone with me...stupidly. It hadn't occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to actually answer it. Oh, and of course I had two excellent enquiries by phone. My clients must have been simply bowled over by my whispering husky voice! I probably made the sales through pity!
I've got nothing too exciting to say apart from my world record attempt at use of Kleenex and painkillers, so I'll tell you a (nother true) story that Darling Husband told me.
My brother in law 'lambs' around a thousand ewes (looks after girl sheep having babies) every Spring, and he does this on his own. So we don't actually see much of him for a month or so, he's on call 24/7 and is permanently exhausted beyond belief.
If there is a sudden drop in air pressure/ change in the weather (how likey is that?) a whole bunch of the woolly things go into labour, and he nurses every lamb that others would give up on. He puts a mark on every lamb with a special sheep mark (red paint) and then some creosote smelling dot to keep the foxes and big cats away (yes, we have them around). Sometimes he's bottle feeding 30 tiddlers (orphans or rejected ones) during the day and night as well as coping with the lambing and feeding of each and every one.
So Darling Husband went to see his brother, and there he was with a Ewe looking really worried. "Look at her, her face was all red yesterday. Her mouth was all red, eyes running, off her food...it's Blue Tongue #*!!#*"
Darling Husband had a look.
Brother in Law went on "I've given her Penicillin, her eye is better but look at her, she's not right"
Darling Husband noticed the Ewe scoffing as much as possible, positively thriving on being segregated from the flock. He came home, laughing.
He had sheep mark on his hands, and had noticed his brother in law had some on his face...the stupid thing (sheep) had had her head in the sheep mark bucket and eaten some and got it all over her head. No wonder she was off-colour so to speak.
Brother in law wasn't easily convinced, he's so tired, bless him.

Raw Emotion

Thank you Omega Mum and Retired and Crazy for this award. So lovely to be thought of by two such entertaining Bloggers.

I've been out of action this week, mulling over my own troubled world and making mountains out of molehills. Well, I am a mother, it's my duty to do so, that and keeping them in clean underwear.
I also had an emotional time seeing my very dear friend get married for the second time. It was fabulous, I made a speech, I cried, couldn't finish what I wanted to say and got a resounding applause for my raw emotion even though Wales had just beaten England in the Rugby and I was introduced as the grooms' English friend. I feared being lynched afterwards but so many people said I did a great job, a Welsh wedding in the valleys on Rugby day can be a scary place to be when you're very obviously English.
I couldn't look at my friend or talk to him for an hour or so, it just made me cry, he's a champion chap, wonderful father, and so totally fab, I love him. He's found the love of his life and she's a fantastic step-mum to my God Sons.
Darling Husband, myself, the bride and groom and our five children retired to the bridal suite for champagne. The girls hid under the wedding dress (it was enormously wide) while the beee-yooo-tiful bride sat delicately on a poooofee, and the boys hid in the wardrobe. The groom and I led on the bed, heads together looking at the photos on his camera, darling husband wandered around, scaring the children occasionally before snuggling in between myself and the groom. We suddenly realised how odd it all looked when the brides' parents walked in and laughed for rather a long time.
I'll stop the sop now, and get back to my normal scathing self next post.

"Teenagers Scare the Living s*** out of me" - My Chemical Romance

I've just told Potty Mummy that I would Blog about this later, but I'll get it done now, I'm feeling raw emotion about this one and I want to move on and no keep going over and over it in my mind.
My teenage daughter, beautiful, stunning, lovely teenage daughter was left standing on the side of a busy main road one night last term after school. Her friend didn't go home on the bus and she assumed I knew and would pick her up. She stood and waited until I realised something was wrong and drove like a bat out of hell to find her. It frightened me beyond anything I've known, I gave her my mobile phone there and then. She had lost hers and I was determined she could go without for being so irresponsible with her belongings. If she'd had a phone,, if I'd not been so stubbborn over, lets face it, a few pounds, she could have phones me and it wouldn't have happened.
But that's not what's ripping my insides apart today. On Saturday I borrowed my phone back from my daughter, travelled by train to South Wales to a friend getting married, Darling Husband and the girls were driving down later in the day and meeting us at the Church.
As soon as I sat down I realised I'd forgotten something, opened the phone to call home and ther it was, a name in the phone that I hadn't heard of. It wasn't one of my customers or one of her friends. I called home, asked for the forgotten item to be brought down and asked her who it was? She said It was one of her friends' friends. OK, I rang off, and I'm ashamed to say I was suspicious, and read the texts.
The person is a 42 year old Irish man. My daughter had, quite innocently texted the wrong number, got two numbers the wrong way round and sent a message to this man. He politley texted back saying she had the wrong number.
She sent a text thinking her friend was being stupid and pretending to be someone else. A few texts went backwards and forwards and once she knew it was someone unknown to her, she apologised and said, please don't block my texts, it kind of cool to text someone I don't know. He replied by asking if she like the Irish?
This is where I got the phone.
So I'm in agony, my husband is furious and can't bring himself to have a conversation with her, he's polite and says the normal things, but he's gutted.
Nothing has happened, nothing awful has come of this, no improper suggestions have been made, this man could have been completely innocently being friendly. But why would she be so bloody stupid to want to do this, haven't we told her enough times about the dangers and phones and emails.
My wonderful friend had me burst into his house on his wedding day and have to listen to me. He took the phone and sent a message pointing out there was inappropriate texting going on and would be taking legal advice. He sat me down calmed me down, listened, sorted it out and stopped it continuing. All this on his day, a total rock, I love him for it.
My daughter has been told this man is 42, has been told he could be anyone, a nice guy, a child molester, we don't know. She could also ruin this mans life, he could have replied in complete ignorance and if we had called police in hysterics, his life would be ruined.
This happens to others, I'm a responsible mother, aren't I? Or am I setting a bad example by Blogging with people I don't know? Am I not giving her enough attention, maybe I shouldn't have sent her to a private girls school. I'm not coping with this and nothing's happened really. I'm not in a good place with this.

Blogging

Potty Mummy really is a super Chum! I am one of her biggest fans, I have to say, she is hilarious, so I'm jolly chuffed at this award. I won't gush anymore because my keyboard will short-out on me.

Have I mentioned I've been given an award? It's made this week a whole lot better than last. I couldn't bring myself to Blog much at all last week, I felt far too miserable and wasn't about to inflict it on the Blogosphere and frighten off all those people who read my Blog.
I love reading Blogs, I love reading the comments, often laughing out loud and making my family shout "what?, what is it that's funny?". I feel I have built a relationship with people I have never met, probably never will and I (think) I have made friends who judge me on the nonsense I spout, not on the car I drive or the way I speak. My opinionated rhetoric and snobbishness, love of wine and often use of bad language don't alienate me from these ladies. I have found a place I can be myself, totally at ease (and also never worry if my bum looks big). I love the fact that we all seem to be from ranging socio-economic circles and totally different lifestyles, but still share a fantastic sense of humour and banter. Insults often fly between us and butt in to each others comments boxes and I laugh and smile at all the funny things that are said.
I find myself wondering what some of you are up to if I haven't heard from you for a while. Blogging is socialising with people you want to bother with, I don't have to be on time, I can be wearing Prada or Pyjamas, it's not what matters. I love it.
Did I mention I'd got an award?

I Don't Like Mondays

It's Monday isn't it?
Can I just say aaaaaaaagrgghhhhhhhaaaahhhhhhhh!
That's better.
Ok, apart from my car having a puncture (oh no..more tyres!), me ripping the pocket on my Driza Bone on the stupid seat lifty upppy handle in MIL's 2-door Fiesta (argghh!!), and number three daughter crying because of her dress, tights, shoes, jumper everything is fine.
Oh, and I forgot, everyone refused to get out of bed.
I threatened to sing, so they all scrambled into bed with Darling Husband.
He didn't want to get up either because it's so windy and wet, so they all elected to stay in bed all day with Dad.

"OK, let me make this QUITE clear you are ALL getting up, you are ALL getting dressed, and I am leaving in half an hour with all of you - UP! NOW!"

A herd of dainty elephants charged the landing and flattened the bathroom door.

Daughter No. 3 cryed becasue we've run out of Cheerios.
Daughter No. 1 wasn't hungry (she usually eats like a very big bellied thing that's very ravenous)
Daughter No. 2 was NOT happy because she hates her school trousers (now she tells me)

Daughter number one has been very unwell and needed a blood test. I didn't inform her of this until we were in the nurses room. She is really terrified of needles and was not going to give blood very easily. This probably stems from her firm belief that she is a vampire, I mean, they don't exactly give it away do they?

MIL was not saying any of the right things to daughter No.1 about blood tests. That's all I'll say. I was extremely stressed and fit to burst.
That and saying 'what?' because she won't wear her hearing aid.

My laptop refused to Boot Up until this afternoon, I can't find the form for No.3's school intake and she's 'moved' paperwork from my desk with quotes on.

Deep breaths, never mind the glass, I'll just take the bottle thanks.

Stress

I knew the day would be a stressful one.
As always, I get up early and downlaod emails while I make my first cup of tea (aahh!).
I sat down at my desk and saw 154 emails in my Inbox!
Bloody Hell, my sale must be going well, I thought.
But no, 151 of those emails had been delivered before, for some e-reason I got all sorts os emails re-delivered, some dating back to the middle of December. No rhyme or reason, not the last 154 emails, just a sprinkling here and there.

Computer is also on go-slow, Teenager has been downloading 'music' (I'm getting so not with it), even though express instructions forbid it. 18 bugs/viruses have appeared.

My smallest daughter has taken to modelling my wellies at every opportunity so there's been plenty of mud walked through the kitchen today.

I studied the sky, heard the Thunder (really) and after extracting a littles girls' pair of feet, put on my wellies, a warm jacket, and went outside with a brush and bottle of car wax. I gave the car a good brushing and waited for the rain to wash it all off - the wind changed direction and the sun came out,, bugger it!

Bedtime loomed for the little on, she refused to go to bed.
I threatened to eat all the Jaffa Cakes if she didn't hurry up.
This caused hysterics, foot stamping of Noh Theatre quality and made everyone turn their backs on her so she wouldn't see us laughing.
She proceeded to get an impressive grip on anything she could to prevent being carried upstairs, obviously there's too much spinach in her diet!

Oh, and the best of all, Shirl gave Darling Husband his Christmas Present (cue Sindy voice) "better late than never!"
Now Darling Husband isn't quite as snobby as me about presents, but even he draws the line at musical ties from '99p Stores Ltd' (that's what the label says!)that play Christmas songs. There are ugly gnomes and elves playing guitars on it.
Darling Husband wore it to feed the cattle today.
Whatever next?

I think , therefore I am

'Tis Elsie Button who has influenced me to write this post - she said I sound(ed) flash.
hmm, well, I don't think I'm flashy and I don't expose myself to others(i.e. flash), but I do have ideas above my station and I am very snobby about some things, most certainly.
My mother had a pink Jaguar when I was little, my parents always drove Jaguars, and so I naturally wanted one. Mine though, wasn't too flash, quite old and inexpensive to buy. I would fool myself I was cruising sedately, when really it was because the car only did 25mpg. I loved the smell of the leather seats and the purr of the engine. I quite liked the envy in other peoples' eyes, little realising their cars cost far more than mine.
But never fear, this frog is not a posh one.

Here's a few things about me, just so you know:
I'm not Welsh and I don't say "there's lovely!" (although I do live in Wales).
I don't wear gren wellies, oops, or green ones.
My spelling is exclleent
I don't wear a Barbour Jacket
Darling Husband does not wear a flat cap, but he likes moleskin trousers in this weather.
I have a wicked sense of humour and I'm very elephant, I mean eloquent.
I do not have a drinkth prbolem! (hic!)