Ive been given two awards!! How marvellous!!
This one from my friend Potty Mummy

'This award focuses not on the glory and fanfare of blogging, but in the PROXIMITY to one another through this online-world. This blog invests and believes in the PROXIMITY--nearness in space, time and relationships. These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement! '

And this one from Off the Wall.


What lovely ladies (what super taste!), and what bad manners I have not thanking them before, sorry, but Thank you.
I've hardly blogged for ages, guess what/ partying? Oh yes..big time, but that's for another post.
Today I want to tell you about taking my children and nieces (6 girls) to a famous film location in order that they soak up the atmosphere and culture, hoping it might benefit their future awareness and understanding of this modern world we live in.
Yes, yesterday I took them to the very spot where Dave coaches picked up Stacey and Nessa, yep we went to Barry Island (OHMYGOD!!)

My intention was just to go to the new Playcentre there (Coconuts) but the only way we could get six girls to stop playing and finally leave was to say we'd take them to the beach on the way home. So I shall be putting in a complaint with the management of the said Playcentre for making it interesting enough to keep six fussy madams happy for at least three hours, what's that all about? Usually 5 minutes of playing, a bit of eating, drinking and moaning and then they want to go!!

I was so grateful our playcentre lunch was good, the smell of chips mixed with sweet Candy Rock at Barry Island was definitely iffy. The beach looked like a nasty dog show, specimens of Staffordshire Bull terriers tugged at their leads, foaming at the mouth and urinating everywhere.
One or two people were immaculately dressed and enjoying the scene, one or two donned hooped golden earrings thicker than their thighs and had visible signs of straightener abuse about their bleached locks. It was scary and I had to suppress my growing urge to shout 'O'.

The air was full of the sound of slot machines and arcade games, we didn't stay long.
The girls each had a ice-cream to warm themselves up before we left.
My middle niece spent half an hour extracting every grain of sand from between her toes, with precision to be admired (...ahem!).

We drove home eating a healthy choice of snacks: candy floss and last years' rock (it was soft), having had a great day out.

And I will try to keep up from now on, sorry, I'm such a busy bee - I mean Frog!

Permanent Party

OK we're still recovering from all the Parties (I'm with you Grit).
The first gathering pre-Christmas was with a namesake family (Frog is such a popular name in Wales). They came with only three of their children, The two eldest ate and then disappeared to a bedroom to gossip, the middle two made dens and played hide and seek (mainly in my airing cupcoard, and the two small ones dismantled the bottom bunk and were sliding down the mattress like a ramp.
Oh the joy I felt, knowing my lady that does had only been in that very day to transform our home into civilisation - how quickly it was demolished.
The taller people stayed downstairs and played hilarious games.

Shirl came the next day for Sunday Lunch..I'd rather not talk about it.

Then we had friends over for a whole day, in fact they stayed until the next morning. We played hilarious games and spent much of the day speaking in Gavin and Stacey language and ordering Gnocchi...I think you probably had to be there.


Ah, then my wonderful friend, beautiful wife, and Godsons arrived.
We served leftovers..a rib of Aberdeen Angus (home produced), a joint of free range rare breed pork (home produced), free range turkey (from friends along the road), bread (home made) cheese, salad and wine..it was terrific!
We played hilarious games and laughed till we cried, it was brill.

Our lovely friends phoned and said their student daughter was having a wild party so we could cook them dinner at our house and have the pleasure of their company. We were very excited, we have so many nice friends and always have brilliant fun, but these two make us laugh so much.
He went to a girls school (no, really) and was a house husband when the children were younger. His voice is very deep and manly so it's quite hard to imagine.
She gives presentations to very important people on Alternative Energy, and has 40 staff, she's very focused and quite high powered.
But...when they come to our house she turns into a giggle monster (a lovely one, I have to say) and he just smiles and talks and laughs and is quite frankly the perfect dinner guest.
And so, we ate lots and drank wine and talked about 'stuff'.
Our lady friend confessed once how, when she feels down and stressed at work, she reads the accident book to cheer herself up. There's some great ones in there.."Walked into a filing cabinet" for instance.
We laughed and laughed and with the aid of paper and pencils and played funny games until we told them they had to go because my stomach and sides hurt so badly. I had tears rolling down my cheeks and was coughing and spluttering with laughter.
They made like Elvis (and left the building)...it was exceptionally cold, ice everywhere. Darling Husband could be heard howling with laughter and staggering around holding his stomach.
Our friends had walked outside and on seeing the ice 'she' (lovely person) proceeded to scrape the ice off our car instead of theirs by mistake!!
I just can't tell you how funny it was.
I want you all to know I hurt all the next day too.

And finally, our eldest daughter celebrated her 14th Birthday (OHMYGOD!!).
We had a few friends and relations round for a tea party (it's beginning to feel like Bloody Winnie the Pooh stories..I need a Hundred Acre kitchen).
All the children aged between 5 and 56 played pass the parcel, with much cheating and pouting.
The children aged between 5 and 23 played musical statues and musical bumps.
I cooked tons of food, which soon disappeared and put the dishwasher on three times during the evening!!
Then we got the paper and pencils out for more nonsense games.

We are well and truly partied out at Camp Frog, and by golly we've had such a good time!

Wishing you a very Happy Christmas..

We've had much celebrating and frivolity this Festive Season.
The Frog in the Field Office Party was an occasion to be remembered.
Our non-executive breakfast chef (Darling Husband's best friend who turns up with bacon for breakfast when he's not working days) called in sick, so there were only four of us.

Our executive transport arrived spot on time to collect us all, and after a small tussle regarding who was sitting in the front, we were off!
We laughed all the way, and arrived at our venue in perfect time.
After an aperitif, some Newspaper reading and a bit more arguing regarding seating arrangements we selected from the menu.

We sat and pulled our crackers (we knew how to have a good time) and I took the lead reading out my joke:
" What do you call someone who buys presents for pets?"
Answer: "Santa Paws"
Everyone groaned.
Darling Husband read his joke out:
" What do you call someone who buys presents for pets?"
Answer: "Santa Paws"
We laughed
Household cavalry read hers out:
" What do you call someone who buys presents for pets?"
Answer: "Santa Paws"
We laughed a lot.
Fourth member of our party (Brother-in-Law) read his joke out:
" What do you call someone who buys presents for pets?"
Answer: "Santa Paws"

We were in hysterics, totally helpless!

"Hats on!" said my Brother-in-Law.
Darling Husband and his Brother donned their paper hats perfectly.
My hat had a diameter of a large tea-cup and our Household Cavalry just had one long strip of zig-zaggy paper which she draped across her head.

We were in hysterics, again.

Lunch arrived, beautifully presented.
The waitress asked : "is your lunch ok even though the crackers were crap?"
Thank goodness we had booked such an upmarket establishment for our festive treat, goodness knows what sort of people might have waited on us if we hadn't!

We ate our main course, during which the waitress/barmaid went home, and were pleasantly surprised to hear a man start playing guitar and singing really well behind us. It was lovely. We turned to see one man sat on the bar stool singing with feeling, while another gentleman sat not too far away on a table for one.

He said "He's not singing to me!!"
More hysterics...I asked if we were interrupting something..

We started thinking about pudding and noticed the chef leaving.
The bar lights had been switched off and even the man playing guitar had stopped.

Ah..better leave then...
We paid up and wandered out into the cold winter air deciding to take a stroll while we waiting for our executive transport to collect us.
We walked into the castle grounds passing a sign that said:
"No guide dogs or hearing dogs except for the deaf"
That didn't seem terribly fair to me, but I suppose those who were blind wouldn't know they were being discriminated against because it wasn't in Brail.

Our transport arrived and the driver suggested a slight detour to another quality hostelry for another drink before we were driven home. After a slight tussle for the front seat we settled in and each told our cracker joke to the very kind person driving who of course wished they weren't in our company at all.

The next venue was a total let down, the bar was open , they were welcoming, everything was perfect and therefore not so funny, but all in all we had a great time!

And so..here's a silly poem:

It's Christmas Eve
All is quiet
When the girls wake up
there'll be a riot
They are so excited
They can't keep still
They are squealing and running
(Making me feel ill)
Time is dragging,
they just can't wait
Is that a rattling on the slate?

I wish you a Happy Christmas
Full of Smiles, Love and Cheer,
Chocolate and oranges,
Turkey Sandwiches and Beer.
But most of all
I wish you peace and goodwill
(Keep the turkey well chilled to make sure you're not ill).
Frog
x

Bah! Humbug!

Well Merry Christmas Everyone!
We're very excited in the Frog house, our 11ft real Christmas tree is up and looking good. Father Christmas is the topic of the moment and the children eagerly look forward to their Uncle arriving on Christmas Eve with some carrots and a bucket of oats, sometimes a small net of hay. He makes a fuss of showing them the reindeer food and assures them it's freezing outside, they rush into the sitting room and listen for him to climb onto the roof (he throws sticks up there I think) to put the food in place and then rush to talk at him, all three at once while he has a congratulatory cup of tea and mince pie. He loves it, they love it.

This year a miserable supply teacher has been told not to return to one primary school after she told a class of seven-year-olds that Santa Claus did not exist!!

Children at Blackshaw Lane Primary School in Oldham were talking about Christmas when the teacher came out with the news.

Father Christmas was not responsible for delivering their presents on Christmas Eve, the pupils were taught. The teacher, who had been drafted in for just the day, has now been told not to come back and I'm glad that action was taken. Life is tough and we're a long time grown up, why spoil a little childhood magic? It achieves nothing but disappointment.

Frog in the Field has been extremely busy, I'm happy to say. Frog headquarters has been hopping with orders and this year I've had one or two excellent complaints which I'd like to share with you.

The first was a great comment about how in the web site photograph three products were featured, but only two arrived.

I replied: "Dear Mr A,
we were disappointed to see your negative feedback on Amazon regarding the service received from Frog in the Field.
May we please draw your attention to the technical details which clearly state the price is for two products.
We respectfully request you withdraw your negative feedback owing to this not being our error.
Negative feedback has a detrimental effect on business and the ability to trade on Amazon.
I very much hope you will honour this request.
Kind regards"


I got a fantastic reply:"Hi,

I understand your concerns, and acknowledge that the detailed technical small print does in fact indicate the price is for two products. I will therefore remove my negative feedback on the condition that you change the picture on Amazon, which is much more obvious and has three products in it. I could understand if it had one item, showing the product, or two showing the number you get, but I do think that most people would assume that they would get three of these by looking at the picture, and not realise they needed to check the small print.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Regards "

How much was the item? And what was it?
Well, it was a skull & crossbone temporary tattoo costing 50p.

The next one was great too:

The customer left feedback which read something like: 'Poor quality, not worth the money, postage costs far too high'

I responded
"Dear Mrs Rymer,
We are most disappointed to read your negative comments on Amazon regarding the toy microphone you purchased. I'm very sorry you were unhappy with the quality, may I suggest you return the item to us for a full refund? Unfortunately one cannot expect a fully functioning microphone for £1.50.
I would have very much appreciated you contacting me directly regarding your concerns than put negative feedback onto the site. I have not been given the opportunity to resolve the issues with you.

The P&P costs are not excessive for the item (£1.50). The Royal Mail charges us 95p Second Class or £1.14 First Class.
The item has to be picked from stock handwrapped and also packed into an envelope and then two stickers have to be printed to put on the parcel, the item is then taken to a collection point, all these steps are labour intensive and have cost implications.

I very much hope you will reconsider your comments and remove them.
Your sincerely,"

Both customers have now removed their feedback and I have a great selling record again....what is wrong with people?
I also had a request to give a refund on a sheep keyring (£1.50) because it was a no longer needed Christmas Present...what was the scenario there?
"Algernon! how could you?
I simply don't like it!"

Bets are being taken on what my present will be from Shirl this year. I wanted to give her a 2008 Calender but Darling Husband won't let me, the pictures are fabulous and he wants to keep it, damn he's so mean to me!

But today is the Frog in the Field Office Party...yippee!!
I look forward to slurring ribbits all afternoon and eating far too much lunch.
Must go and get glammed up now (wash my wellies).

Frog (hic!)
x

Blogging, Buddies & Christmas Boxes

Sparx has been very kind awarding me this, well, award. Thank you Sparx, it was a lovely boost to my battered little self.

I love the Blogging world for it's friendliness, it has led me to people I click with and laugh with. I read things that make me howl with laughter and sometimes this leads to hour long conversations on the phone, while consuming copious amounts of wine! I shant name names..

Frog in the Field has been very busy, even for this time of year, and I've not had time to blink let alone blog, but as the cattle have escaped this morning (yes we got up at 3am!), and Fruitcake alerted us with that stupid bark that makes all her feet leave the floor at once, I thought, to heck with it, I shall write a post and damn the consequences!

Yesterday I was a little concerned, and I'd appreciate some comments on this...yes, another true story!
I had an order for a small item for a child, and it was to be sent to a lady whose surname was 'Bilevych'.....now, I love Spoonerisms as much as the next person, but am I just being overly suspicious?

This week we played 'I spy'(we really know how to live), as we often do and daughter number three is now getting quite good at it. All this going to school makes the game far less funny. It used to be along the lines of 'something beginning with 't'
Daughter number three: 'house?'
But not any more.
Me:'I spy with my litle eye, something beginning with 'f'
Daughter number three: 'hmm....um' she looked thoughtfully round the kitchen.. 'um, I'm not allowed too say the swear word am I Mummy?'
OHMYGOD!!

Ah, and news on the new position as Chair for school Friends committee.
I was asked to Chair the AGM because the gentleman who was to take the last meeting was unwell, and as I was then Vice-Chair, it was my duty to stand in.
No pressure, just a new Head, only the AGM, and erm, no notes to work from.
It was all very pleasant with canapes, wine and polite conversation.
I had to improvise big time....didn't have a clue what to do or say and the inner Frog was screaming 'arghh!!!!!', while outer Frog remained cool and composed and inserted plenty of polite intervals between matters, while I frantically sifted through old minutes trying to work out what the hell I should be saying.
I think it went rather well!
(Cue the corkscrew!)
And in my new role as Chair, I like to think I'm on top of things...apart from emailing a fashion agent in Blackheath with numbers of tables booked for the ball, instead of a parent in Monmouthshire with the same first name, everything is under control!!

And of course we're all looking forward to Christmas here.

Bets are being taken on this years offerings from Shirl.
Here's a shortlist of favourite presents from her in past years:
A pot of honey
Terrys Chocolate Orange (4 years out of date) - no, I am not exaggerating.
Chocolates from the Tobacco Warehouse (chocolates inside were not the ones on the carton).
a vacuum she won in a competition.

I'm so terribly excited!

My Wonderful Nan

Today has been a sad day, today was my grandmother's funeral.
She was fab, I shall miss her very much, we laughed a lot together and I consider myself extremely lucky to have had so much quality time with her in my adult life. My children adored her almost as much as I did.

So, we gathered at the church, a large and sad family. Sons, daughters, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, friends of grandchildren, and children of friends of grandchildren.

The sun shone and it was a lovely service and burial (as lovely as it could be), with tributes read out and some particularly dodgy hymn singing, and although I've cried many tears over losing her, I've decided to highlight the humour of the day, because indeed there always is some, and I could always make my Nan laugh, she loved to hear the ridiculous stories about life at Camp Frog.
I recall making her laugh so suddenly one day that she spat her tablets out..thankfully her teeth stayed in!

As we sat there today I thought about Darling Husband's friend's comments this week. He had been visited by a Jehovah Witness.
JW: Do you know what happens to you after you die?
Friend of DH: Yep, they put you in a box and drop you in a hole in the ground.
JW : Well that's not really what happens
Friend of DH: Well, I've been bearer at many a funeral and I can tell you, that's what happened every time.

The gentleman left, sadly shaking his head, fearing for Darling Husband's friend's soul.

The undertaker arrived and put up the stand at the front of the congregation, on which to stand the casket...We were once at a funeral and the undertaker did the same thing, carefully placing the trestles just so. Darling Husband leaned over and whispered "this really is not the time for putting wallpaper up".

The flowers were stunning and almost everyone wore something lilac because it was Nan's favourite colour.

Shirl was without question engaging in an Oscar winning performance at the graveside, so much so, I have wondered if she's been watching re-runs of Dallas! She had adorned herself in gold sunglasses and fur coat for the occasion. (Bear with me, you won't think I'm so mean in a mo)

We all retired to the local hostelry, which was once owned by my Great-Grandfather and indeed where many of us had spent happy hours as children.
Shirl had to be helped into the pub, such was her distressed state, which wasn't easy viewing.
Funerals are never easy, emotions run high and we were all a bit reluctant to say much for a while, but soon a row broke out, as they always do at funerals.
There were raised voices and pointing, others were called over and they joined in, sides were taken and no-one could sort out exactly where the Grandfather clock used to be. Beer flowed and we ate four times as many sandwiches as the pub had prepared in advance.

A man I'd seen in the church was introduced to Shirl and amazingly the tears stopped and Barbie re-appeared!! Gosh what talent to be able to change characters like that!

I know, you think I'm mean, but going from an inconsolable wreck to come up and see me some time was quite a transformation. She still managed her high heels, tight belt and leg-showing skirt. I could almost hear my dear Nan asking what the hell her daughter was playing at!!

And the punch line, I'm shocked and embarrassed, but as I can't tell my Nan, I'll tell you. Before we got into the car to travel the 40ish miles home I walked down to the Grave for another look at the flowers, and was surprised to see a few relatives also there.

"Aren't the flowers lovely" My Aunt said.
I started feeling tearful again.
My Aunt can read me like a book and continued with a tiny smile "...mm, lovely, guess which ones are from your Mum (Shirl)?"

I looked at the flowers, huge cushions of white and lilac buds, a whole row of letters forming the word 'Mum', Sprays and Bouquets..obviously hundreds of pounds worth of flowers.

"I don't know" I said quietly.

"The Cyclamen" said my Aunt and laughed and laughed.

Amongst all the beautiful arrangements was a single potted Cyclamen; a pink potted cyclamen, and this for the wonderful lady whose favourite colour was lilac, and from the monied daughter who was clearly the most devastated about her passing.

"She said they didn't have any lilac flowers left"

Well, there is a credit crunch on I suppose !

OHMYGOD!!!
Can I make a public plea..if ever I get that mean, shoot me..