Surprise, surprise!!

I am constantly shocked by other people, my naivety in life is a constant source of entertainment to those close to me.
Yesterday afternoon whist driving my eldest daughter from school, I asked if I could please have piece of chocolate ( I know, it's a surprise that someone as sweet as me should need it, but there we go!). She undid the wrapper, folded it neatly around the chocolate so I could hold it without getting chocolate on my finders and passed it to me. I almost did an emergency stop, what was she doing? My father always did that for me when I would chauffeur him around. At the time I thought it was kindness but looking back he probably didn't want chocolate finger marks on his walnut dash and leather interior.
Come to think of it I don't recall any of my parents cars ever resembling the state of mine inside.
Then there's our friends who have been together 23 years, always smiling.
She's left him, told him one day, divorce papers arrived the next!! Not only that but she moved straight in with another man....Gasp, shock, horror! Even left the children behind!! (Sharp intake of breath).
Now don't get me wrong I am in no way criticising, I don't know and don't wish to know all the facts, it's just it has shocked me.

Then there's Shirl, after years of wanting a Mercedes sports, she has actually bought one. Last time she went to buy one she came home with a Vauxhall Vectra, that was more worrying than shocking though, lets be honest.

Last night I took Jazz, my middle daughter to watch some of her friends in the school 'Stars in their Eyes' competition. My lady that does was there to watch her daughter too. Her daughter and friend sang a duet based on 'Lucky Twice' and were dressed in a stripey T-Shirts and pretty skirts. These normally shy girls sang in perfect tune, did nice co-ordinated arm movements and it was lovely. I was truly amazed at their confidence.
Oh, but then, there was the star of the show, ten years old singing 'Son of a Preacher Man'...is that appropriate for a ten year old?
The young man, again ten years old gyrating and grinding his hips like Mica!!
One young lady dressed as Dolly Parton with huge false breasts!! This is all in a Primary School!!! Truly, truly shocking.

And finally this morning I had a forwarded email from a friend, clearly illustrating how she has been the victim of cyber bullying. I was disgusted and not only shocked at it's contents but shocked at how angry I felt about it.

I guess the biggest shock of the day will be when our friends arrive this afternoon after a month in Australia. We've really missed them. We have looked after their Gerbils, Stick Insects and Fish here in this very house. Not once have I wrenched any of them from the jaws of the cat. That their pets have survived will be truly, truly shocking for them.

Addiction

We love games and this is the latest one we have become addicted to.
We've stoically worked our way through Boggle, Monopoly,3D Noughts and Crosses, oh and Tetrus.
Life has become one long series of Bananagrams only to be interupted by eating, sleeping and working. Our television hasn't been turned on since we got it!
There are groans if the phone rings in the middle of a game, school runs are preceeded by a quick game.
To say we're obsessed is an understatement.
A man arrived to discuss some businessy thing with me, we were in the middle of a game. I made him coffee and he watched while we (me, darling husband and my lady that does) finished the game, a bit amazed. He commented that our approach to the working day was quite refreshing, odd, but refreshing!
Yesterday I took my eldest daughter to Swansea to see her consultant. We took the game with us, of course, to play in the waiting room.
Darling husband phoned "Where's the Bananagrams? Jazz and I can't find it..."
As I say, we're obsessed, but getting awfully good at spellign.

Rockstar

I LOVE this track... Rockstar
(video isn't my favourite)

It's positively persisting here in Monmouthshire this morning and I'm feeling a little traumatised by my terrifying experience yesterday.

I took my MIL shopping, dropped her off at Somerfield (oh the shame!) and then took my wonderful children into Waitrose for our family fodder shop. All was well, Sophie was sitting very nicely, Jasmine was pushing her sister around, chatting happily.
Then I saw them, by the cucumbers, two foul little boys, around nine years of age, one sprawling in a shallow trolley, one pushing him. They were riff raff, and in waitrose!! They pulled cucumbers all over the floor and threw them back into the racks.
"Some-one's got to eat that!" I bellowed (in a ladylike way, of course).
In a very cheeky whiney voice, they repeated "someones got to eat that" and laughed.
"You really are very rude aren't you?" I said.

I was furious that such creatures should be in the store. let alone behaving so badly. I looked around again, and saw them going over to their parents and repeating what I'd said. I shuddered, got scared and instructed Jazz to push her sister very quickly into the wine section, I knew I'd be safe there.
The parents were riff raff, I know it's true I have gained a few pounds and was forced to purchase a size 14 skirt in Per Una recently, but there's no need to have your belly hanging out between your XXXL clothes in the chilled ready made salads section. The mother was modelling a fine greasey old perm and split ends; her husband strutted proudly by her side, displaying his tattoos and wearing a dashing pair of pull-up jogging bottoms and anorak. They surely mistook Monmouth for Merthyr on the map??
I calmed myself by selecting some choice reds and watched from a distance while they queued up to purchase 200 Superkings and then leave in the direction of a Wetherspoons.

Birthday

It's my Birthday.
I'm having a tea party tonight, as is the tradition in Darling Husband's family. There will be my adorable Godson, my champion friend (the one at whose wedding I cried recently..sniff!), my great friend Charlie (wonderful) and my lovely in-laws (no, really).

Here's two entertaining true stories, no I don't make them up...who says living out in the sticks is boring?

Jazz, middle daughter arrived home and announced that Sam Bevan wasn't in school today. "His sister came into the class and told teacher that Sam wouldn't be in because he'd been bitten by a goose and didn't feel well"

No sympathy was shown by anyone, the whole class including the teacher dissolved into hysterics, as did we when we heard the story.

Here's a true story from my niece who studies at Cardiff Uni:
Her friend Tom got a call in the middle of the night.
"Quick!! TOM!!, I've caught the leprechaun, come quick!!"

Tom: "you've what?"

"Quick, I've caught him and I don't know what to do with him. He can't get away, I've locked him in the cupboard, it's the Leprechaun, I've caught him, QUICKK!"

Tom drove to his friends place, just in case.

His friend was curled up on the kitchen floor, asleep and somewhat intoxicated, front door unlocked.
There was a chair wedged against the cupboard door, preventing it from being opened.
Tom moved the chair and opened the cupboard.
Inside was a very vertically challenged man, also intoxicated.
As DM would say OHMYGOD!!!

There is a moral there somewhere I'm sure.

Spring Time

I have the huge pleasure of receiving another award!! Gosh how marvellous! Thank you so much Gone Back South.

That and I've won a Handheld PDA (whatever that is) for my Christmas Horror Story about the escaping hamster.
But I've been in no mood to really appreciate any of these nice things, I've had cold in by dose, my chest hurts, my back hurts and I've been very unwell. I think it was flu because I really haven't done a thing, haven't blogged much at all and have done very little work.
I did have a major problem in that I lost my voice. It didn't really matter here, I just stayed in bed and ignored everyone. I did though, take my business phone with me...stupidly. It hadn't occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to actually answer it. Oh, and of course I had two excellent enquiries by phone. My clients must have been simply bowled over by my whispering husky voice! I probably made the sales through pity!
I've got nothing too exciting to say apart from my world record attempt at use of Kleenex and painkillers, so I'll tell you a (nother true) story that Darling Husband told me.
My brother in law 'lambs' around a thousand ewes (looks after girl sheep having babies) every Spring, and he does this on his own. So we don't actually see much of him for a month or so, he's on call 24/7 and is permanently exhausted beyond belief.
If there is a sudden drop in air pressure/ change in the weather (how likey is that?) a whole bunch of the woolly things go into labour, and he nurses every lamb that others would give up on. He puts a mark on every lamb with a special sheep mark (red paint) and then some creosote smelling dot to keep the foxes and big cats away (yes, we have them around). Sometimes he's bottle feeding 30 tiddlers (orphans or rejected ones) during the day and night as well as coping with the lambing and feeding of each and every one.
So Darling Husband went to see his brother, and there he was with a Ewe looking really worried. "Look at her, her face was all red yesterday. Her mouth was all red, eyes running, off her food...it's Blue Tongue #*!!#*"
Darling Husband had a look.
Brother in Law went on "I've given her Penicillin, her eye is better but look at her, she's not right"
Darling Husband noticed the Ewe scoffing as much as possible, positively thriving on being segregated from the flock. He came home, laughing.
He had sheep mark on his hands, and had noticed his brother in law had some on his face...the stupid thing (sheep) had had her head in the sheep mark bucket and eaten some and got it all over her head. No wonder she was off-colour so to speak.
Brother in law wasn't easily convinced, he's so tired, bless him.

Raw Emotion

Thank you Omega Mum and Retired and Crazy for this award. So lovely to be thought of by two such entertaining Bloggers.

I've been out of action this week, mulling over my own troubled world and making mountains out of molehills. Well, I am a mother, it's my duty to do so, that and keeping them in clean underwear.
I also had an emotional time seeing my very dear friend get married for the second time. It was fabulous, I made a speech, I cried, couldn't finish what I wanted to say and got a resounding applause for my raw emotion even though Wales had just beaten England in the Rugby and I was introduced as the grooms' English friend. I feared being lynched afterwards but so many people said I did a great job, a Welsh wedding in the valleys on Rugby day can be a scary place to be when you're very obviously English.
I couldn't look at my friend or talk to him for an hour or so, it just made me cry, he's a champion chap, wonderful father, and so totally fab, I love him. He's found the love of his life and she's a fantastic step-mum to my God Sons.
Darling Husband, myself, the bride and groom and our five children retired to the bridal suite for champagne. The girls hid under the wedding dress (it was enormously wide) while the beee-yooo-tiful bride sat delicately on a poooofee, and the boys hid in the wardrobe. The groom and I led on the bed, heads together looking at the photos on his camera, darling husband wandered around, scaring the children occasionally before snuggling in between myself and the groom. We suddenly realised how odd it all looked when the brides' parents walked in and laughed for rather a long time.
I'll stop the sop now, and get back to my normal scathing self next post.