Harvest Festival

This week we had the Primary School Harvest Festival in one of our beautiful local churches. It was a crisp, sunny Autumnal morning.
The children streamed into the church, class by class, some pushing and shoving, some grinning, some sucking thumbs.
The parents packed out the back of the church and the vicar welcomed us all to such a lovely occasion.

The orchestra struck up a light rendition of "Always take the weather with you", the saxophones and violins joined the throng and it was a light tune no longer. The volume of the extra instruments drowned out the others and the timing went totally to pieces. The rosy cheeked singers began to look flustered, but battled on.
Darling Husband and I shook with laughter, two Mums behind us made strange wheezing and whining noises, thankfully drowned out by the sax.

For Daughter number 3, this was her first experience of being involved in a Harvest Festival. Of course she had attended to watch her bigger sisters in previous years. The last one was 2006.
Our Head doesn't encourage pre-school children at these events because she feels the noises they make can be off-putting for their older siblings. Parents of course, ignore the advise saying their poppets will behave in an exemplary manner.
I was fortunate to never get 'the look' from the Head mainly because I always waited to go into Church last and stand next to the door, so I could leave the minute there was the slightest grumble.
But alas, all good plans...
In 2006 I waited to go in last, chatting to the Vicar.
The Vampire was with us because she had a day off her new school for some reason(she left Primary a year early), but all her classmates (46 of them were there).
We walked in together and I stood by the door, squashed with other parents.
All 46 of the Vampires classmates started whispering her name loudly.
The Head frowned. (It was not the thing to do, taking her out a year early)

Mr Vicar "Ah, Frog, don't stand there with daughter number three, come up to the choir stalls with me"
Oh, so I was taken by the man himself, paraded past the Head (frowning) and sat behind the pulpit.
Whew, I was out of sight of the Head, Daughter number three could wriggle and make a bit of noise and I'd be ok, but I was a bit bothered about being so far from the door in case of screaming.
The children all did their stuff beautifully, and often out of tune.
The vicar teased Daughter number three and was no help whatsoever on the discipline front.
But the finale, oh, it was good.
A very lovely lady from the village (My old Economics teacher at Grammar School) asked to stand next to the pulpit and congratulate the children on money raised for a well-fund in Africa. She talked eloquently about the children it would help and the whole Church fell silent to hang on her every word.
Daughter number three decided it was time to go and leapt from my lap.
She marched up directly behind lovely lady ex-teacher and shouted 'HA!!' while doing a star jump.
Vicar laughed hysterically
Vampire choked and spluttered
Daughter number three grinned (while being yanked sideways)
Lovely Lady took no notice whatsoever
Head frowned.

A lovely Blogging buddy asked me a few weeks ago, "is what you say on your Blog about your mother true?"
It's all true....all my stories are true, in camp Frog there's no need to exaggerate.

Ever the Diplomat...

I've been asked to consider taking on the position of Chairperson of the school Friends Committee. I was slightly ever so flabberghasted by this and could only squeak: "I'm not sure I'm sensible enough".
I don't know the new Head, the Bursar scares me and what if I say something stupid out loud?
The Vampire told me to go for it, "I mean what can be so bad about it?"
Me: "I might say something stupid"
The Vampire "Yes, true...you'll have to learn to be diplomatic"

Yes, that's all very well, but this is me, and I'm not so sure I'm really capable.
Here's an example, (click here) and this was cut and pasted from genuine emails.


I asked a friend what she thought..."Don't do it, it'll be a disaster"

I asked my bag lady with whom I have an excellent working relationship..."You'll be brilliant, I've never met anyone with so much....."...I've no idea what she said now because I was a bit shocked, again, but she thought I'd be fine.

I asked Darling Husband what he thought.
"Friends? Pah! You should have sat in on my bloody village meeting last night, we should call it enemies...so negative! you just wouldn't believe the moaning...mutter, mutter"

I decided to try my best, "I'll do it", I told the present Chairperson, I'll try really hard to behave myself".
"Great! Thanks" he said.

So today I sat here,at my desk working diligently preparing for the hard slog of Christmas Trade that starts in 6 weeks and the phone rang.
It was from a lovely company I have worked hard with this summer preparing their new range of party bags and we are just waiting on the web page...have been waiting on the web page for around 6 weeks. We chatted, finalised matters, and then she said:
"By the way, Kevin (geek of slow speed) can read every email you send to us"

OHMYGOD!!
aarggh!!

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I had no idea, if only I'd known I'd never have..."
The phone signal was lost and I felt rather undiplomatic in the highest order.
Here's what I'd written:

"Have you seen what he's done?

What's he playing at? He got the new photos the other day, but has just changed the order and resized the crap pics!!
Do I have permission to go and slap him?
Don't forward this email to him......I know what you're like (Ha Ha!)"

Oh the shame!
What are my chances of getting a book deal on the Title "How to make friends & influence people"

ps. He shaped up pretty quickly after he saw that though!