Friday, 28 March 2008

It's positively persisting here in Monmouthshire this morning and I'm feeling a little traumatised by my terrifying experience yesterday.

I took my MIL shopping, dropped her off at Somerfield (oh the shame!) and then took my wonderful children into Waitrose for our family fodder shop. All was well, Sophie was sitting very nicely, Jasmine was pushing her sister around, chatting happily.
Then I saw them, by the cucumbers, two foul little boys, around nine years of age, one sprawling in a shallow trolley, one pushing him. They were riff raff, and in waitrose!! They pulled cucumbers all over the floor and threw them back into the racks.
"Some-one's got to eat that!" I bellowed (in a ladylike way, of course).
In a very cheeky whiney voice, they repeated "someones got to eat that" and laughed.
"You really are very rude aren't you?" I said.

I was furious that such creatures should be in the store. let alone behaving so badly. I looked around again, and saw them going over to their parents and repeating what I'd said. I shuddered, got scared and instructed Jazz to push her sister very quickly into the wine section, I knew I'd be safe there.
The parents were riff raff, I know it's true I have gained a few pounds and was forced to purchase a size 14 skirt in Per Una recently, but there's no need to have your belly hanging out between your XXXL clothes in the chilled ready made salads section. The mother was modelling a fine greasey old perm and split ends; her husband strutted proudly by her side, displaying his tattoos and wearing a dashing pair of pull-up jogging bottoms and anorak. They surely mistook Monmouth for Merthyr on the map??
I calmed myself by selecting some choice reds and watched from a distance while they queued up to purchase 200 Superkings and then leave in the direction of a Wetherspoons.