Wednesday, 10 September 2008

New Term...when are the holidays?

And so here we are, just starting the second week of school.
Some things have changed in camp Frog, others things remain the same.
Daughter number three has started school, my (almost)14 years as full time Mum are over.

Daughter number two has a new teacher and is rather scared of her, so that means another year of amazing excuses to try and get out of it every day.

The Vampire loves school, ever the swot (don't know where on earth she gets it from) but has a new Head...she's missing the old one.
New term, new regime...healthier lunches. No school dinners where the smackeral of something lovely is the only thing eaten and one's children arrive home like savages in tempers.
Now all tempers are lovely and happy and I'm certain their food has something to do with it. So..
6am the vampire pokes at me until I get out of bed.
I get dressed (I think) and line up the sandwich boxes.
Empty the dishwasher.
Potatoes are peeled and cook while I get fresh salad stuff from the paddy field that was our cottage garden.
I wash and chop up fresh salad, prepare potato salad, slice cold (home-produced) pork and throw it all in the boxes.
Then I prepare the fresh fruit salad..ugh.
The mountain of peelings go into the pig food bowl (which is enormous).
Darling Husband then drives the vampire to school in his toolbox, I can't see it's a car any longer, it contains gateposts and John Deere filters and other odd bits and pieces.
The vampire strongly protests because there was a bottle of Bud broken by daughter number two in the 'car' and now she's concerned that she'll smell of beer in school.
Then I poke the other two girls until they get out of bed.
Answer the phone and listen to the vampire plead with me to drive her lunch into school...again!
I heat Baked beans for daughter number, she eats one spoon and says she doesn't like them.
Cheerios in a bowl..she eats one spoonful and says she doesn't like them.
Fresh pancakes? no
Rice Krispies? no
Daughter number three, the new girl gets up, puts her uniform on, brushes her own hair (gasp!), puts shoes on the right feet and gets her book bag ready...perfect!
Darling husband arrives home in time to take the other two to the school bus and strap them in.
I feed the piggies
Empty the washing machine
Load the washing machine
Load the dishwasher
I'm shattered.

Our lady that does (otherwise known as the household cavalry, it's usually a fight just to get from one side of the kitchen to another) arrived and was delighted to be told Darling Husband had purchased a new vacuum. She hated the old one and was so happy when it finally fell to pieces.
The milkman arrived.
I stayed outside chatting to him while Darling Husband bravely brought our lovely lady that does, inside and broke the news that yes, he had indeed, against all her pleading, purchased another Dyson.
The milkman left.
I entered the kitchen and noticed Darling Husband was still able to walk and was surprised by an apology from our lady.
"Why are you apologising?" I enquired.
"I swore in front of your child, I'm sorry, it's just that hoover..."she pointed at it with an accusatory finger and then muttered "it won't be long before the dog eats it, anyway"
Later they were sat having coffee reading the Hereford Times and discussing the proposed changes to the city centre.

Darling Husband " I don't know why they can't just put it all back to a nice old city instead of trying to make it look like every other place"

our Lady "Yeah,....I hate change"

Darling Husband " I know, that's why I bought a Dyson.."