Monday, 24 September 2007

Huffy Husband

Today has been tense, moody, sultry even.
I kept looking around, had I forgotten something, done something that he simply didn't know how to tackle me about.

Was it the coffee?
No, I put the milk in after the water, that was OK.

The cup?
Bone China or John Deere mug, yep, I was OK there.

Had I run out of homemade bread?
No, there was plenty.

An Insurance salesman came, never a good move here. Darling husband treated him with admirable contempt. It would have made a great public information film about how to get rid of double glazing salesmen too.
He told the man to hurry up and make his point, he had work to do.
He let the salesman ramble incessantly for a few minutes, while eyeing up a huge chocolate sponge cake in the middle of the table.

The salesman tried to close but darling husband said, no, I'm not having it.
"Why not? Can't you see the advantages of such a policy?"

Darling husband replied, "It's none of your business why I don't want the policy, I don't want it and that's that"

Insurance Man " Well, there's only two reasons why you wouldn't have it, either it's the cost or you don't like me"

Darling Husband "Both"

Cue exit stage left for the insurance man, slightly panicky looking insurance man.
It may have been the nasty look on my husbands face, or just the worrying fact he had a spider sticker clinging to his shoulder saying "I've been good today".

Darling husband was so vile to him, it was quite brilliant. I began to hope we would get a call from India regarding our telephone supplier so he could deal with them too. In fact perhaps he could handle the advertising executives who regularly telephone me trying to sell me outrageously overpriced advertising in obscure publications only likely to be seen on 'Have I got News for You'

I still wasn't too sure what had upset Darling Husband, I put my arms around him
and looked into his seething eyes, ah.. the wind was howling outside.

"It's windy isn't it?" I said.
"Yes" he hissed through clenched teeth

My laid back, gentle, lovely humoured husband who invites the world and his wife into our home for cups of tea and a chat, turns into a (devastatingly handsome)Gruffulo in a temper on windy days. I always forget.

Moral of the story, never try to sell him anything when the wind is blowing.

8 comments:

Tattie Weasle said...

Sometimes the wind just does that! It makes The Boy all bouncy bouncy and makes me want to run around outside and feel all alive...

Hannah Velten said...

My Mum's just the same - windy day = bad mood - why is that, I wonder? Just found your blog...sounds like you are a busy, busy girl what with all that diversification and family life; what type of farm do you have? Will catch up eventually...

Potty Mummy said...

Lucky Frog - at least you have a reason for Husband's bad moods!

Frog in the Field said...

Tattie Weasel, my girls get grumpy too on Windy days. You're lucky.

Thanks for visiting Hannah.
We live on a beef farm (Aberdeen Angus)and yes, life is too chaotic for words.

Ah Potty Mummy, I'm very fortunate that mine rarely is very moody.
My friend once stopped speaking to her husband for days. She got even more wild with fury because he failed to notice. When she announced she had been ignoring him for days, he was genuinely surprised and said " I thought youwere a bit quiet!".

Exmoorjane said...

Found you via Tattie..... Ah, can I borrow DH to be tough with
a) British Telecom
b) Abbey National
c) My stroppy eight-year old

Sometimes one just has to be cross.
And isn't there some research somewhere that shows that the wind sends people a bit bonkers? I know our old nursery school teacher used to say that the wind sent toddlers wild......

Suffolkmum said...

My husband's the opposite - he sort of waked up ona windy day, and gets all energetic and enthusiastic! It's on still, windless days that I have to watch out ....

Frog in the Field said...

Dear Exmoor Jane,
you'll have to stand in line to borrow DH, he's much too popular for my liking!

Hi Suffolk Mum,
sounds like you have a good time in windy weather!

Pig in the Kitchen said...

ha ha ha! i like the axe-murdering husband with the 'i've been good today' sticker! Did you ever get to the bottom of the mood?! or am i dim and it really was the salesman and the wind?! He sounds a bit Heathcliffe your hubby...