Today has been tense, moody, sultry even.
I kept looking around, had I forgotten something, done something that he simply didn't know how to tackle me about.
Was it the coffee?
No, I put the milk in after the water, that was OK.
Bone China or John Deere mug, yep, I was OK there.
Had I run out of homemade bread?
No, there was plenty.
An Insurance salesman came, never a good move here. Darling husband treated him with admirable contempt. It would have made a great public information film about how to get rid of double glazing salesmen too.
He told the man to hurry up and make his point, he had work to do.
He let the salesman ramble incessantly for a few minutes, while eyeing up a huge chocolate sponge cake in the middle of the table.
The salesman tried to close but darling husband said, no, I'm not having it.
"Why not? Can't you see the advantages of such a policy?"
Darling husband replied, "It's none of your business why I don't want the policy, I don't want it and that's that"
Insurance Man " Well, there's only two reasons why you wouldn't have it, either it's the cost or you don't like me"
Darling Husband "Both"
Cue exit stage left for the insurance man, slightly panicky looking insurance man.
It may have been the nasty look on my husbands face, or just the worrying fact he had a spider sticker clinging to his shoulder saying "I've been good today".
Darling husband was so vile to him, it was quite brilliant. I began to hope we would get a call from India regarding our telephone supplier so he could deal with them too. In fact perhaps he could handle the advertising executives who regularly telephone me trying to sell me outrageously overpriced advertising in obscure publications only likely to be seen on 'Have I got News for You'
I still wasn't too sure what had upset Darling Husband, I put my arms around him
and looked into his seething eyes, ah.. the wind was howling outside.
"It's windy isn't it?" I said.
"Yes" he hissed through clenched teeth
My laid back, gentle, lovely humoured husband who invites the world and his wife into our home for cups of tea and a chat, turns into a (devastatingly handsome)Gruffulo in a temper on windy days. I always forget.
Moral of the story, never try to sell him anything when the wind is blowing.