Sunday, 21 September 2008

True Stories...and there's more to come!

I had a night out with some friends.
We went to a super fab gastro-pub which is THE place to go at present. I was salivating at the thought of it. I was driving, so declared myself out of the wine affair for the evening.
Wine was chosen.
Wine was brought.
Wine was hated and sent back, with a toss of the head and flick of the hand.
Wine was brought back (with impeccable manners and perfect service) and it was gently explained to my co-diners that madam is mistaken, the wine is not corked.
We ate dinner and they begrudgingly sipped the vino.
The waiter returned...I felt like a pelican (I had a huge bill in front of me).
Me: "Did you know how much that wine was when you ordered it?
Diner 1.."yes, well I was struggling to find anything decent"
Me: "Yes, but" I was spluttering now with shock "did you know how much it was?"
Diner 2 "Let me see the bill...hmm, yes I'm not surprised"
The waiter arrived to take our money and said he hoped we had enjoyed our dinner.
Me "Lovely, Thank you"
Diner 1 : "Fine Thank you"
Diner 2 looked straight into his eyes and said : "The food was lovely, but your wine is s**t"

How much was the wine you ask?
We dropped off Diner 1 and I asked Diner 2 again.."did you really know how much that wine was when it was ordered?"
Diner 2 "I didn't have a clue!"
OHMYGOD!! snigger!
Darling Husband: "How was your night out?"
I told him.
Darling Husband "OHMYGOD!!"

My sister called by to shower the girls with gifts from the Maldives (humph!) and announced she was taking a keep fit lesson this week.
When she said taking, she meant she's the head honcho, in command, top dog!
Darling daughter number three was excited to tell how she has started ballet (me with a daughter going to ballet???).
Sister instantly sprang into pose wanting to show her ballet moves she uses for keep fit.
"Look, like this, hold your arms like...oh, I can't do it very well in my wellies.."
That's going to be a keep fit class worth going to, obviously.

Last Friday I bought a Chargrill Chicken sandwich from Greggs and then drove on to Bristol.
Halfway there, I went to take a bite and discovered no chicken in my chicken sandwich (well of course I pulled over, you really don't think I'd be eating whilst driving do you? I mean..that's illegal!).
So, I continued my journey and decided to return the said sandwich on my next visit into town for a refund.
I came home after the shops had shut, did the weekend things and then, on Monday returned to Greggs after picking up all the children from various educational facilities.

Me: "Hello, I bought this sandwich on Friday and thought I'd better keep it to show you...there's no chicken in it and there should have been. Could I have my money back please?"

Young male assistant "Oh, um, er, I'll, um just go and ask ...."

Female Bakery assistant of senior level (and boy, didn't SHE know it):
She didn't say anything for a moment.
She looked me up and down very slowly from my head to my feet and back again, with the contempt that only a senior level bakery counter assistant could muster.
Sneering slowly "You bought this on Friday..............and you've JUST noticed there's no chicken init?"

We laughed all the way home.

And people wonder why I don't like going to town?


GoneBackSouth said...

A chicken-less chicken sandwich is almost as useless as an eggless omelette.

There are some things about "going into town" that I like, but the thing I hate the most is queuing up at the post office. Ugh.

Kitschen Pink said...

I can only think to ask why on earth - seeing that picture - did you dare to buy a chicken anything from them in the first place! I mean, at least if you'd drunk any of the wine you'd have had some disinfectant in your system! t.xx

Potty Mummy said...

Perhaps the chicken was free range? (Boom boom...)

Expat mum said...

OK, I've just rememberd why everyone praises the customer service here in the States. If you did that with the wine here, they don't even question it. However, with expensive wine, they should have allowed someone to taste it in the first place.

valley girl said...

I once took back an umbrella to Muji because it didn't work - they said 'that's just the design' which the obvious rejoineder was 'well it's a sh** design, then isn't it?'

Am dying to know if Greggs gave you the money back after all!

Tara@From Dawn Till Rusk said...

Wine story. Hilarious. That would have been my mother in law. She complains about everything in the restaurant while I suddently find something to talk to the children about. Usually something under the table.

Adventure Mother said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Adventure Mother said...

Most of my friends would have walked out at £38/bottle! I would have expected to taste it first however!
Good on you for going back to Greggs with your chickenless sandwich. Personally, my stomach would not have co-operated, I would have eaten the bread & butter and would have nothing left to show!

Mel said...

Love the wine story, shame they didn't let you taste it first.
Good on you for taking the chicken less sandwich back, did they give you your money?

Anonymous said...

I've been to Greggs today! And got a sweet chilli chicken wrap. It was ding dang doo.

CJ xx

Frog in the Field said...

Hey Gone Back South!! How are you?
Post office queues a problem? Would youlike to borrow my pig-feeding wellies? They'll run from them I promise.

Hello KP,
Greggs isn't too least I'm not scared to go in there like I am the other place, I'll never go there again in case they remember , ooh, I'm still cringing.

Potty Mummy, I would laugh, but for fear of my head falling off, ahem!

Hi Expat Mum,
The wine was fine, and the service in the restaurant, exemplorary, perfect. My co-diners just didn't like it, they made a bad choice I'm afraid.
Greggs service though, hmm, a little dodgey!!

Hi Valley Girl,
You're going to have to change your name, it conjours up all sorts of images in my mind...ahem, moving on...I think your response was perfectly fine if the umbrella was so rubbish, but in our case it was SO not called for...just floor openingly dreadful.
Yes, I got my money back after quietly explaining that my life didn't revolve around chicken sandwiches and I felt no huge compulsion to rush back there immediately. She blushed a tad and looked a little silly...Ha!!

Hello Tara,
I too wanted to get under the table...shudder!

Millennium Housewife said...

Froggy, it only happens to you! I think I'll come and stay for a while and watch first hand MH

Frog in the Field said...

Hi Adventure Mother,
Great to see you. The wine was fine, it was just not to their taste...I wouldn't have chosen a wine at that price unless it was a special occasion, I'm SO glad I was driving.

Hi Mel, I did taste the wine when the first diner didn't like it, I didn't like it either, but said it was fine, just not to my taste, diner 2 sent it back saying it had corked.

Hello Crystal..Ding that good.

Millennium, it does only happen to me...I'll put the tent up for you in the garden.
Would you like the lawn with rose hedge or next to the field...Aberdeen Angus munching and night snuffling at no extra charge.
Would you like pancakes or home cured bacon for breakfast?

Working mum said...

I'm impressed you had the confidence to take back a chickenless sandwich, they could've thought you'd just removed it!

£38 for a bottle of wine you didn't like?! I could've bought a case for that (TGFT). Always, always check the wine list.

Mom/Mum said...

That post made me lugh so much! good for you for taking the sandwich back. Like expat mum, it reminds me how very different the customer service is here in the US. The probs you have with a chicken sandwich here of course would be that there's so much chicken in it, you can barely lift it to your mouth.

Merlin's Wizard said...

Great Blog it really made me giggle!

Take Care

blogthatmama said...

You go frog! I love the audacity of the chickenless sandwich protest. Quite right too blogthatmamax

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Good post. Complaining about anything in this country is a fine art. (Not sure I've mastered it either!)

Sparx said...

I'm so amazed you went back to Greggs... I'd have given up and just seethed for months. Wine story - I am still twitching with embarrassment... am not good at sending things back...!

Mean Mom said...

I don't think I would know whether the wine was good or bad, to be honest. I'm mainly a tea drinker. (Boring!) I did have to complain to my husband, at one time, however, that the wine he was buying tasted like vinegar. Would that have been the cheap stuff?? I suspected it!!

Now that our 3 sons have mostly deserted us, I find that our main shop, at the weekend, comes to about £38.00. I have to 'top up' during the week, of course, but how can a bottle of wine be worth so much?

Tattie Weasle said...

...sorry laughing about the free range chicken sandwich...should be working but hey it's a wednesday!

Jo Beaufoix said...

UI shouldn't be laughing Frog, but I can just picture the Greggs lady, hee hee.

And £38 for nasty wine is very bad. I'd have been gutted.