Wednesday, 24 December 2008

Wishing you a very Happy Christmas..


We've had much celebrating and frivolity this Festive Season.
The Frog in the Field Office Party was an occasion to be remembered.
Our non-executive breakfast chef (Darling Husband's best friend who turns up with bacon for breakfast when he's not working days) called in sick, so there were only four of us.

Our executive transport arrived spot on time to collect us all, and after a small tussle regarding who was sitting in the front, we were off!
We laughed all the way, and arrived at our venue in perfect time.
After an aperitif, some Newspaper reading and a bit more arguing regarding seating arrangements we selected from the menu.

We sat and pulled our crackers (we knew how to have a good time) and I took the lead reading out my joke:
" What do you call someone who buys presents for pets?"
Answer: "Santa Paws"
Everyone groaned.
Darling Husband read his joke out:
" What do you call someone who buys presents for pets?"
Answer: "Santa Paws"
We laughed
Household cavalry read hers out:
" What do you call someone who buys presents for pets?"
Answer: "Santa Paws"
We laughed a lot.
Fourth member of our party (Brother-in-Law) read his joke out:
" What do you call someone who buys presents for pets?"
Answer: "Santa Paws"

We were in hysterics, totally helpless!

"Hats on!" said my Brother-in-Law.
Darling Husband and his Brother donned their paper hats perfectly.
My hat had a diameter of a large tea-cup and our Household Cavalry just had one long strip of zig-zaggy paper which she draped across her head.

We were in hysterics, again.

Lunch arrived, beautifully presented.
The waitress asked : "is your lunch ok even though the crackers were crap?"
Thank goodness we had booked such an upmarket establishment for our festive treat, goodness knows what sort of people might have waited on us if we hadn't!

We ate our main course, during which the waitress/barmaid went home, and were pleasantly surprised to hear a man start playing guitar and singing really well behind us. It was lovely. We turned to see one man sat on the bar stool singing with feeling, while another gentleman sat not too far away on a table for one.

He said "He's not singing to me!!"
More hysterics...I asked if we were interrupting something..

We started thinking about pudding and noticed the chef leaving.
The bar lights had been switched off and even the man playing guitar had stopped.

Ah..better leave then...
We paid up and wandered out into the cold winter air deciding to take a stroll while we waiting for our executive transport to collect us.
We walked into the castle grounds passing a sign that said:
"No guide dogs or hearing dogs except for the deaf"
That didn't seem terribly fair to me, but I suppose those who were blind wouldn't know they were being discriminated against because it wasn't in Brail.

Our transport arrived and the driver suggested a slight detour to another quality hostelry for another drink before we were driven home. After a slight tussle for the front seat we settled in and each told our cracker joke to the very kind person driving who of course wished they weren't in our company at all.

The next venue was a total let down, the bar was open , they were welcoming, everything was perfect and therefore not so funny, but all in all we had a great time!

And so..here's a silly poem:

It's Christmas Eve
All is quiet
When the girls wake up
there'll be a riot
They are so excited
They can't keep still
They are squealing and running
(Making me feel ill)
Time is dragging,
they just can't wait
Is that a rattling on the slate?

I wish you a Happy Christmas
Full of Smiles, Love and Cheer,
Chocolate and oranges,
Turkey Sandwiches and Beer.
But most of all
I wish you peace and goodwill
(Keep the turkey well chilled to make sure you're not ill).
Frog
x

9 comments:

nappy valley girl said...

Happy Christmas Frog... Sound advice to keep the turkey well chilled - but remember to turn the oven on and cook it as well!

Expat mum said...

But aren't all Xmas crackers crap? merry xmas.

Adventure Mother said...

Sounds like your party was a hoot! Just cooked my turkey and must remember to refrigerate once cooled. I did forget one year and yes, we were ill!

Merry Christmas!

Mean Mom said...

You're so right, of course. No one wants to hear about a Christmas party that went off OK! No entertainment value, there! ;0)

I went out for a Christmas lunch with some friends. One of them spent the whole time coughing (over my lunch) and a couple of days later, I became ill, too, strangely enough. The worst tragedy was that I didn't have a hat in my cracker. Sob. ;0)

Love your poem. Hope Christmas was good for you and your family.

GoneBackSouth said...

What a lovely story dear Frog. I hope you had a good Xmas!

Jo Beaufoix said...

Hee hee, that joke was fabulous, especially the way you lot told it. Sounds like a brilliant night. Hope your girls had a wicked Christmas lovely frog. xoxoxo

Ladybird World Mother said...

Loved loved LOVED this post. Have giggled my way down to the last word... will be back! Happy New Year.X

Sparx said...

Very funny... hope the rest of Christmas was lovely... any Terry's oranges on show?

Millennium Housewife said...

Great party Froggy, here's to a blogging new year MH