Friday, 28 March 2008




It's positively persisting here in Monmouthshire this morning and I'm feeling a little traumatised by my terrifying experience yesterday.

I took my MIL shopping, dropped her off at Somerfield (oh the shame!) and then took my wonderful children into Waitrose for our family fodder shop. All was well, Sophie was sitting very nicely, Jasmine was pushing her sister around, chatting happily.
Then I saw them, by the cucumbers, two foul little boys, around nine years of age, one sprawling in a shallow trolley, one pushing him. They were riff raff, and in waitrose!! They pulled cucumbers all over the floor and threw them back into the racks.
"Some-one's got to eat that!" I bellowed (in a ladylike way, of course).
In a very cheeky whiney voice, they repeated "someones got to eat that" and laughed.
"You really are very rude aren't you?" I said.

I was furious that such creatures should be in the store. let alone behaving so badly. I looked around again, and saw them going over to their parents and repeating what I'd said. I shuddered, got scared and instructed Jazz to push her sister very quickly into the wine section, I knew I'd be safe there.
The parents were riff raff, I know it's true I have gained a few pounds and was forced to purchase a size 14 skirt in Per Una recently, but there's no need to have your belly hanging out between your XXXL clothes in the chilled ready made salads section. The mother was modelling a fine greasey old perm and split ends; her husband strutted proudly by her side, displaying his tattoos and wearing a dashing pair of pull-up jogging bottoms and anorak. They surely mistook Monmouth for Merthyr on the map??
I calmed myself by selecting some choice reds and watched from a distance while they queued up to purchase 200 Superkings and then leave in the direction of a Wetherspoons.

22 comments:

Expatmum said...

Yes, over here they're called trailer trash I believe.

Potty Mummy said...

Oh Frog - time to move, I do believe... (Mind you, we get them in Waitrose in Kensington, too. But what do you espect with Ken in charge?)

Crystal Jigsaw said...

You too! We don't have a Waitrose up here but they do frequent our local supermarket. You really have to be careful what you say to folk! I know a family who have unruly kids, look unruly and speak unruly but are actually really nice people!

Crystal xx

Maggie May said...

For a horrible minute I thought it was my grand sons!
No........... they are not like that, not riffraff at all!
They are well brought up & hate cucumbers & wouldn't even touch them!
Nor do any of us have our midriffs hanging out, piercing, or builder's bums!

Seriously , some people, you can tell by looking at them just what type of background they are from. But it is the attitude more than anything & the couldn't care less about anyone else that annoys.

Elsie Button said...

oh dear... they were probably from symonds yat... the scariest place on earth

Omega Mum said...

I hope, for your sake, that they'd restricted themeselves to the organic cucumbers.

Grit said...

i am sorry to report that i have been riff raff in waitrose. it was the time that squirrel disgraced herself by the yogurts, tiger tried to shop-lift pineapples and shark screamed a window-shattering scream in every aisle. I banned myself for 6 months hoping my appearance might change. it has. but not for the better.

rilly super said...

crikey, I went to symonds yat once, sounds likeI was lucky I wasn't caught up in a drive by!

Actually I think I went to Monouth too once. haven't they got the french admiral's sword from Trafalgar there, or has that been swipedby someone to cut their way down the organic aisle at waitrose?

LittleBrownDog said...

Shudder!

Suzy said...

Great post!

Expatmum is right- that's what they're called in the States.

Suzy

Iota said...

You're not turning into Dulwich Mum, are you, Frog?

Tattie Weasle said...

I sometimes feel that a strict door policy should be adhered to and perhaps an nicely unifomred young man to greet one when one steps in...however, as I have a fairly unruly duo and am struggling to cover the gap between my jeans and puffa I may land up having to go to Tesco - oooh the shame of it!!!!

Elsie Button said...

Yes, there is a definite dulwich mumness about this post - perhaps we should stop you seeing each other - she is a bad influence (sorry DM)

Frog in the Field said...

Symonds Yat? Is it really that bad?
Ah yes there is that 'family fun fair' run by an infamous family, for the tourists.
Google 'Gurnos', you'll find that's a billion times scarier.
And I must make myself clear, I am not criticising people of a larger stature, one of my dearest friends is certainly a large lady. You don't have to dress so badly no matter what size or shape you are. It's the lack of hygiene and bad manners I can't stand.
Iota, Elsie Button (where have you been??) I think DM might sue if she knew what you've said. While I admit to being an avid fan, one can only aspire to her heights of fame and fortune, thin ness and glamour......

Pig in the Kitchen said...

Gosh, that was a close call, well done you for thinking to hide in the wine section ;-)
Pigx

Frog in the Field said...

Thank you pig,but it's no good coming over here, leaving smiley faces on my Blog, I've read what you've written about me on Potty Mummy's Blog.
I'm never going to live this one down, God! I made an innocent typo!
I blame the alcohol.(the slobs in Waitrose drove me to it)

picklesmum said...

They must have taken a wrong turning when aiming for Iceland. The frozen food chain, a la Katona, not the country!

Frog in the Field said...

Well Hello Pickles Mum! Lovely to see you again!
Yes, you're right, they probably were aiming for Iceland.
Urgghh! How can she do those adverts? this Mum will certainly never go to Iceland now!

Elsie Button said...

oohhh please tell me more about the infamous fun fair family - am very intrigued!

dulwichmum said...

In the name of God! How frightful for you. I cannot sympathise enough, even Waitrose is not safe. People from the Valleys with their angular colourful hairstyles, false tans and white socks are to be found simply everywhere these days - especially Brixton...

Can I pop some ice in that for you sweetie? Ocado from now on I think...

Milla said...

I'm sometimes surprised that I'm let into Waitrose, frankly. Whether it's a mud thing or just genetic squalor - the choices of what to blame! But it clearly happens to the best of us when, time-short but needing to drive furiously across town and not just slum it in nearer Tesco, you just have to force yourself to waft down an aisle spending too much money. Still, I stop short of writhing on the floor with cucumbers or getting in superkings. But then I'm not 9.

Milla said...

PS - where DID you get that "husband" from?? I don't know who's got more time to waste, you for your links, or me for clicking on them all.