I've 'done' my last Christmas Fair, I'm shattered.
All that brushing my hair (well, actually I don't have to do that anymore, a quick blow-dry and it's perfection!) ironing clothes, wearing matching socks and smiling at people! Working from home is so much easier, I don't have to be anyone, it's my service and product that's important.
But, at a Christmas Fair, you have to don the smile, not swear at children who break things, and horror of horrors....I'm expected to eat all those bloody awful Mince Pies from Tesco and sip glasses of the most disgusting cheap red wine, thinly disguised as 'Mulled wine' and appear awfully grateful for such top tucker! What is it with these people? They obviously know nothing about wine, why would you want to spoil a perfectly good one with spices and heat it up? I don't get it at all. I met a teacher on maternity leave who makes beautiful handmade Christmas Cards. She teaches at the local Haberdashers Pre-Prep. Poor thing, she nearly died of shock when she saw another Primary school and the type or parents walking through those doors! I thought it would be nice, there's a lot of nice new housing in the area and the school is brand new and beautiful, but..Phew!...it was scary. The three quarter length 'jogging' (by the average size I would say this is the term for the style and not purpose) trouser and trainer ensemble was very prevalent, put that together with the slicked back hair style and overly aggressive expression and you'll get a pretty good picture of what it was like.
The gentleman making the tea wore a black vest with gaudy rolled gold chain and had a number of overly decorative tattoos all over his arms and uncovered shoulders. His hair was nicely arranged in a ponytail and he was slightly overweight and ill-washed looking. I was too scared to ask for a cup of tea.
But I have to say everyone was quite polite, oh, apart from the boy who came over, mouth crammed with a lollipop..he slurped the confectionery from his chops and declared he'd just been sick..... I grabbed my things and left.
It's back to the anonymity of my keyboard and telephone, where I can smirk at customers with strange names and not worry that I'll get caught!